Johnson Diaries

I am working on writing a novel called the Johnson Diaries. This is the beginning of my book and I would like to know what you guys think. The Johnson Diaries are set in different perspectives. The part that you are about to read is the Mom, Sherry Johnson. Next will be Matt Johnson, the son.


Dear Diary,

This will be my very first entry into my very first diary. Under the suggestion of our family psychologist, I have started a diary to let out my inner most feelings. I am not sure how this whole diary thing works though. I mean I can’t just start writing my inner most feelings right away?!?!?! Centuries from now I want people to discover this diary and really know who I am.

So I guess I will start with some background on my life. Oh but let me formally introduce myself… I am Sherry Johnson and I am 40 years old, although I don’t look a day over 30. I have two children Matthew and Ashley. Matthew is 17 and the captain of the football team for Vanity High and an all around amazing athlete. He loves his team so much that he cooks for them every chance he gets to reward them for a job well done. He is going to be the best football player this country has seen one day. Then there is my 14 year old daughter Ashley. Not an athlete, but a very intelligent young woman. She constantly has her nose in a book. She refuses to wear any sort of fashionable clothing because she says “I don’t want to be another drone.” I need to Google the word drone because I’m not exactly sure what that means. Whatever it means I am sure it is neither nice nor pleasant. I wish we had more in common because we never developed that mother daughter bond. And finally, my Husbands name is James and he is a very prominent Business man at the Fellowship advertising company. He is now the CEO and makes all the big business man decisions. I try not to get too into his business life because I frankly could care less. All I know is it helps to provide the lifestyle we have come accustomed to. We live in a beautiful five bedroom house in Vanity, Colorado. This is a beautiful city with hardly any crime or problems. To an outsider looking in we seem to have the perfect family, the perfect house, and the perfect life. Well that is all I have for today... till next time...

Sherry

“Mooooommmmm!!!!!” says Ashley screaming at the top of her lungs.

“What!!!”

“You are supposed to be taking me to my Decathlon competition 10 minutes ago and now I am going to be late!! What were you doing?”

“Writing in my Diary like Doctor Morgan told us to.”

“Well that is not nearly as important as my competition… LET’S GO!!!”

My daughter has such a temper with me. Sometimes I wonder who the daughter is and who the mother is in this relationship. I shouldn’t let her talk to me this way, but every since she was little it’s what ever Ashley wants Ashley gets. So I politely respond “Here I come sweetheart.”

“NOW MOTHER!!!”

I hate the mundane tasks of my life. Picking up and dropping off Ashley, going to football games and company picnics, going to neighborhood watch meetings in a town with no crime. But my husband says I am the spokes person of the family so I must do things that aren’t always fun.

Well here we are at another Decathlon competition. I always bring magazines to these things because if I listen too long I will develop a massive headache. I look at these young children and I just wonder how they cram all of these useless facts into their head. I mean I barley get past page one on the new car manual without a feeling of boredom and frustration.

“What disgraced vice president's high school yearbook quote read; "An ounce of wit is worth a pound of sorrow?” says the host of the decathlon competition.

BUZZ

“Yes Ashley from Vanity High…”

“Spiro Agnew”

“Correct! Now for the final question… Which of Henry VIII's wives gave birth to Elizabeth I?”

BUZZ

“Yes Ashley again from Vanity High”

“Anne Boleyn???”
“Correct!!! And Vanity High wins the decathlon and moves on to the state finals.”

Yayyyy Ashley won again. I am so glad this is over and I don’t have to hear anymore boring facts. Oh here comes Ahsley…

“Congratulations sweetheart I am so proud of you!”

“Whatever mom you’re just glad that you don’t have to go with us out of state and sit at the competitions aren’t you?”

“No sweetheart I adore these… um… competition thingy’s. And if I wasn’t so busy here at home I would come with you.”

“Sure you would mom. Look I want to go hang out with the rest of my team to celebrate. Amber’s mom will take me home O.K.?”

“Sure sweetheart, see you when you get home.”

I don’t know why I even bother lying to spare my daughter’s feelings. To tell you the truth she knows me more than I know myself. It’s a little creepy that she always knows what I am really thinking and feeling. Never the less I always try and lie to sugar coat things to her. I mean she may seem older than she is, but she is really only 15 and at that age you don’t need to know the whole truth. Oh and mental note… add Spiro Agnew to the list of words to Google when you get home.

Oh man I just remember about the neighborhood watch meeting tonight. Hope those busy bodies don’t notice that I’m missing. Maybe I’ll sneak in through the back.

“Hello Mrs. Johnson… Nice of you to finally arrive” Says Roberta as I am sneaking in through the back.

Roberta Kurt is the busiest of the busy bodies. She is head of the neighborhood watch and is always involved in or in charge of some sort of school or neighborhood event. I hate that because she is always in charge she has this false sense of authority. Well I am not going to take it tonight! I am just going to roll my eyes and be very short with her.

“Hello Roberta.” I said in a very aggressive tone.

“Well since you arrived late its now your turn to present any ideas to raise money for neighborhood security camera’s.”

“Why would we need cameras? Everyone here has a security alarm on there house and there hasn’t been a break in for 20 years now.”

“Well I’m sure the neighborhood didn’t get this way with people like you not caring about our safety! The cameras will add an extra reason why crime should not be committed in Vanity. Need I remind you that poor Mrs. Randle’s poodle was spray painted blue!!! Wouldn’t you call that a crime?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

“No I would call that funny.” I said with a little chuckle. I soon regretted my statement because the entire group looked at me in disgust and distaste. Like I was the one that spray painted the dog. Man these people need lives.

“MRS. JOHNSON!!! Are you insinuating that people should be able to spray paint dogs and get away with it!!!! If we let this go then what next… toilet papering houses… graffiti…”

“It was just a bunch of kids playing a joke and having fun… Lighten up.” I just kept sticking my foot further and further down my throat. Their stares and disgusted faces were piercing my skin.

“LIGHTEN UP… LIGHTEN UP!!! Well I am sure poor Mrs. Randle doesn’t want to hear lighten up… I’m sure her poor poodle doesn’t want to hear lighten up. This is your neighborhood to; I suggest you start taking some pride in keeping it safe for EVERYONE.”

“Fine Roberta you’ve made your point. I will try and take more pride in our neighborhood safety.”

“Don’t try Mrs. Johnson… DO!”

I hate it when she goes off on her rants. It only makes me look foolish and makes her look righteous. I hate being part of the busy body committee, but James says it is important to be apart of our families safety. Blah, blah, blah. I can’t wait to get home and write in my Diary. Oh there will be choice words used for Miss Roberta.
***********************************

I am so glad that I am finally home. Oh something smells really good.

“Hey Matthew!! What are you doing home early today?”

“Oh practice was over early because coach had something important to do. So I came home and decided to cook dinner.”

“Oh you are just the sweetest!!! Oh Matthew I meant to ask you, have any colleges approached you about scholarships yet?”

“A few, but I am still weighing my options”

“I am just so proud of you. You are going to be the best football player this country has ever seen!”

“Maybe… I mean let’s not get ahead of ourselves mom.”

“What are you talking about silly I…”

RING

“Oh that’s probably your dad. Hello?” James always calls me around 6:30 pm to tell me he is going to be a little late. It’s not everyday, but usually Thursday’s and Friday’s. I bet there is a lot of left over work to do at the end of the week. I’m just so glad he is dedicated to his job.

“OK honey we’ll have dinner ready when you get home. Love you. Bye.”

“Your dad is going to be a little late again… so what were you saying before sweetheart?”

“Uh nothing… the food is just about ready mom. And it’s your favorite… Spaghetti!”

“Oh Matthew if you cooked everyday I would look like a cow!”

It’s true. Matthews’s food is absolutely delicious, but very high in fat. One time I asked him to make me a low fat lunch and he brought me a meatball and mozzarella sub… on wheat bread. It was delicious, but I could barely fit my clothes after eating that sandwich. I think Matthew gets some sort of joy out of making girls fat. I’ve seen him go through a countless amount of girlfriends and the same thing happens every time. They’ll go “steady” for a while and then he will get tired of them, feed them him deliciously fattening food, and then break up with them because they’re fat. It’s like a deliciously evil scheme my son cooked up… literally! I wonder if he gets that from his father.

DING DONG

“I’ll get it!” screams Matt.

It was our housekeeper Liz, she’s a lesbian. She came to our door about two years ago begging for a job. She was about 18 at the time and eyes were full of tears. I invited her in and asked her what happened. She said that she was tired of living a lie and decided to tell her parents who she really was. Her parents are strictly religious and very conservative. She was to marry a prominent man and have children. But once she shared with them that she was a lesbian her parents, in her words, “flipped out”. They were screaming, “Not you, not my child!” Her parents told her either she accepts the Catholic way or she can leave their house. So she did what any hurt 18 year old would do… she packed up her things and left. Lucky for her the bus stop is very close to our house. We were the first and last house she visited in Vanity. She became our housekeeper doing little tasks around the house and basically earning her keep. Now she is in Hairstylist College and doing very well. She is now like a part of the family.

“Hey Liz! How was school today?”

“It was great! I past my hair coloring test today. It was some weird shade of red, but I did it.”

“Oh that’s wonderful sweetheart! So who’s ready to eat?!?!?”

Liz, Matthew, and I sit at the table ready to eat and waiting for Ashley and James. Waiting is horrible, ESPECIALLY when you are hungry. Next thing you know…

DING DONG

“Ashley!!!” We all yell in excitement because we are all hungry and ready to eat. Ashley quickly throws her stuff down and sits down to eat. Now normal families would wait for the father to come home, but he’s always so late so we usually start without him.

We all quickly scarfed down the food and we are now full off of Matthew’s deliciously fattening spaghetti. It’s now 9:45 pm and James is still not home. Liz and I cleared the table and set aside a plate for James in case he would like some. I hate when he is late like this. My mind starts to wonder what he is doing to be out this late. His job is keeping him from his family and time with his wife. Oh well I guess I can’t complain because we do have such a wonderful life because of it. Yeah, a wonderful wonderful life. Well I guess it’s time to get into bed time mode.


Dear Diary,

Today was a long day. Right after my very first diary session with you I had to take Ashley to the decathlon. It was boring as always and Ashley did that creepy mind reading thing that she does. Even though we don’t have that really close mother daughter bond, she knows me like the back of her hand. Every year for mother’s day and my birthday she gets me a gift card… I LOVE GIFT CARDS!!! They are the best present you can get someone because they get to go shopping and pick their own present!!! How great is that right? Well James thinks it’s terribly impersonal so every year he actually goes to the store to buys me something. I appreciate the thought, but when it comes to gift ideas the man needs help. One year he bought me a set of scrunchies… I smiled and said thank you and put them away with all of the rest of his hideous gifts. You know I wonder why my husband comes home so late. I miss him. We used to have such a great relationship and now we barely talk, he is very distant, and there has been no sex for 5 months straight. I think that he has been really stressed out by work. I try to be a supportive wife and not complain, but I am really starting to feel saddened by this.
I know this is completely random, but I wonder what my life would be like if I were a lesbian. I mean I would have no kids, I wouldn’t have to deal with crappy guy gifts, and I probably wouldn’t have to watch sports. Yeah that would be great. Not to say I don’t appreciate what I have now, but man the freedom would be nice. And having a girlfriend would be like a friend and lover combo. Too bad I’m no attracted to girls otherwise I would probably hop on that boat!
Oh and Miss Roberta is an evil bitch!!! There I said it… bitch, bitch, bitch!!! And I can’t stand her. She’s always yelling at me like she my mother and I’m a child. I am 40 years old I am far from a child. As a matter of fact, I have children. I shouldn’t take that tone from her, but I know that the only time I will say these words is on paper. I can be such a coward. Oh well it felt really good just to say it on paper.
Oh and I Googled the word “drone” and I was right it is neither nice nor pleasant. My daughter thinks I am a drone?!?! Considering the fact that she knows me so well… Maybe I am??? Noooo, she’s just be mean like always. Well it’s time to go to bed. I’m sure James will try and sneak in and tell me he was here all night. Well I am too smart for that!!! Till next time…

Sherry














Dear Journal,

Let me start off by saying that this whole “diary” thing is stupid and in no way helpful. So what if the Johnson family is not perfect like everyone thought… no family is!!! You know our real problem is everyone keeping secrets from each other. Take my dad for example, he is obviously cheating on my mom and has been for some time. Once I went into his office to use his computer and there were several e-mails from Donna, his secretary, about evening plans. He spends every night and most of his weekends with her. I tried to tell mom, but she pretended not to hear me and changed the topic. She later confronted my dad and he made up some lie and she believed him. That leads me to my mom. Here problem is that she is too naïve and practically a human door mat. I can tell she hates all the neighborhood and school events that she is forced in to helping with. But she does them anyways because our neighbors say they need her and my dad says she ought to. And then there is Ashley, who secretly admires mom fashion and style, but she doesn’t want to end up with a marriage and life like hers. So she tries her hardest to be the complete opposite of her in everyway. And last, but not least, there is me. I am an all star football player that is born and bred to play in the NFL. The only problem is that I don’t want that life. Football is something I know how to do and therefore I do it. But I do not enjoy football and I am not passionate about it. The one thing I want to do in life is to be a chef. I love to cook and if it were up to me I would go to culinary school right after high school and become a world famous chef. I am pretty good at making all types of food so I could go to work for any type of restaurant. The only problem with this dream is that everyone around me wants me to become this great football player. I love the friends that I have and I love how proud my family is of me. I know if I give up football my life as I know it would change completely.
The only person I’ve been able to talk to about this is Liz. I mean she left everything she knew in order to become the person that she is. She inspires to me go for what I want out of life instead of what everyone else wants me to do. She did it and her life is turning out great. I just need to have the courage to put my dream in motion.
Well I have to say that maybe this wasn’t a complete waste of time and maybe it is a little helpful. Well gotta go to bed…

Matt

“Matthew honey it’s time to get up and go to school” Says my mom.

I hate getting up and going to school; especially when I was in such a good sleep. It seems that as soon as I lay my head down it’s time to get back up and go to school. Man, I think I am just going to lay here for about two… more…

“MATTHEW!!! Honey get up!!!”

Awwww why does she yell in my ear!!! If she only knew how much I hate that and the violent thoughts that go through my tired mind. OOOHHHHH!!! I hate mornings. I think I am just going to catch two more… minutes of…

“MATTHEW!!!” Mom yells as she yanks the covers off of me. At this point thoughts of a chokehold with mom in it are running through my mind. Well might as well get up before I am subject to anymore torture. Did I mention that I hate mornings? Why is it that your legs feel like jello when you first get out of bed? And why do we get this crusty stuff in our eyes? Why do girls take ten times longer to get dressed then guys? All I have to do is take a 3 minute shower, brush my teeth, jump in some clothes, and wahlah I am done. My record time for getting dressed is 10 minutes. Today I took about 15 minutes to get dressed, but 5 of them were used getting out of bed.

You know the funny thing about waking up is once you’re up, you’re up! After getting dressed I always feel awake and energized.

“Hey Mom what’s for breakfast?” I asked.

“Um honey I’m kind of busy… have Liz fix you guys something to eat.”

They were in the room arguing again. Not about anything of importance, like him not coming home till 4 am this morning. No they are arguing about why mom has to go to the neighborhood watch meetings. Sometimes I don’t think my mom could buy a clue. Now we are stuck with Liz fixing our food. Liz is probably one of my best friends, but her food is probably worse than garbage. I’ve never tasted garbage, but her food has to be pretty close.

“Hey Liz… uh… don’t worry about me I’m just going to eat cereal this morning.”

“Yeah me too!” says Ashley.

“Oh but I was going to make my eggs surprise dish this morning.” Says Liz with excitement.

“NOOOO!!!” yelled Ashley and I in unison.

“Um you know we are just not in an egg kind of mood today right Ashley???”

“Right… definitely not in the egg surprise kind of mood…” says Ashley.

“OUCH!” screamed Ashley after I kicked her in the leg for being rude. I swear the kid has problems with keeping things to herself sometimes. I mean there is a thing called being too honest. She’s the same way with mom and dad and it drives them nuts too.

“Well I’m off to school. See ya mom and dad!! See ya Liz and dork!!”

Well now for the best part of the day… school! I know most kids don’t like school for one reason or another, but school is the best time for me. As a football player I get special treatment in the classroom and in the hallways. Most teachers are nice to me and let me slide on a lot of things. And then all my fellow students admire me and everyone wants to be my friend. It’s like being part of a mini Hollywood and I’m Tom Cruise or something.

Well needless to say I just about know everyone in school, but I do have my close friends that I hang out with on a daily basis. That would be John, Spike, Ron, and Phin. Phin’s real name is Phinneous, but the last person that called him that got body slammed into a locker and their body print is still there till this day.

“Hey Phin!!! What up Man?”

“Nothin’ just got here man? You’re always missing out on the good stuff.”

“What happened?”

“Chick fight man!!! Mindy came to school with the same outfit as Cindy. So of course Cindy beat her down! I mean hair and clothes were flyin’ everywhere. You lucky I thought of you and recorded the whole thing on my phone.”

“Yeah cuz I’m sure you recorded that all for me…”

Cindy is the head cheerleader and generally the most popular girl in school. Her two best friends, Mindy and Lindy, are like her side kicks that must follow orders. Together the make up the Bimbo Squad. Or at least that is what everyone secretly calls them behind their backs. Cindy thinks that she and I are meant to be with each other. I mean I have pretty much dated every girl imaginable at this school, except Cindy. I think there is a bag of rocks somewhere smarter than that girl and way less bossy. Besides there is only one girl that I would like to be with, but surprise surprise, she hates me.

BELL

“Matthew Johnson. Should’ve known that you would be here around all of the miscreants and fighting.” says Amanda.

“Amanda, why you always judgin’ me like you know me?”

“Oh because I know your type. You, Phin, John, and Ron are like a pack of dogs with raging hormones and no sense.”

“O.K. Amanda… since you seem to be such a people expert, how come you don’t have any friends?”

“Because our school is full of idiots like you so SHUT UP!!” she says as she storms away in anger.

Amanda is the class president, top of her class, grade A student. And, if you can’t already tell, Amanda and I have this major connection. She hates me and I pretend to hate her back, but the truth is she is the only girl here that is worth being with. And it’s really ironic that she is the only one that doesn’t really like me.

“Hey Matt!!! Stop day dreamin’ man we gotta go to class.” says Phin.

“Alright here I come!”

The day at school goes by really fast. First period is Senior English. Now I am not a really articulate person, but I have found that if you share your inner most emotions you can get an A on any paper. All English teachers, male of female, are saps for a touching story. That is why I have a solid B in that class. Next is Algebra. Now this is one class that you can not fake your way through. You actually have to know your stuff. Luckily there is this decathlon geek in my Algebra class that has a crush on me. She breaks algebra down really well and I have a solid C+ in that class. It’s really important that your tutor is not a hot chick because then you will not be able to concentrate on the material. Next is Lunch and that is the best time of the day. As seniors, we do not have to eat in the cafeteria and we can go out to eat. Usually everyone meets up at Harry’s Burger’s down the street to eat lunch. Well at least all of the seniors with a car or a friend with a car.

“Hey Phin!!! Where are Ron, Spike, and John?”

“They are on there way to the car. They are excited because Harry’s is having a buy one burger get one free today. They are gonna see who can eat the most burgers!! You want in on this contest””

Just then Amanda walked by. Man today her hair looks nice, I mean she looks nice so I guess the hair would go along with it. I would say something to her, but every time I do she always thinks I am being mean. Well maybe things will be different today.

“Hey Amanda!”

“What do you want Matt?”

“I just wanted to say… uh… that you look really nice today.”

“Is there something you want?”

“No just thought you should know.”

“Yeah right… What is it? Do you need help with an essay? Or do you need help cheating on your next test?” Amanda says sarcastically.

“No. You know you are the hardest person to compliment. Catch you later loser!”

Well it looks like to day is the same as everyday. She stormed away mad as usual, thinking what a jerk I am… as usual.

“Matt!!! Before you drifted off into Amanda land I asked if you’re gonna get in on this contest?” says Phin.

“No way Spike is like a human garbage disposal. John and Ron are gonna get smoked.”

It’s true; Spike once devoured 8 burgers, 4 packages of large fries, 3 sodas, and 2 milkshakes. Oh and did I mention this was in one sitting. Once I left a pan of lasagna at Spike’s for an hour and when I came back the whole pan was gone!!! This guy has the build of the incredible hulk and is the scariest player on our team. The guys always try to challenge him, but they always lose.

“Eat, Eat, Eat, Eat!!!” the whole restaurant cheers as the contest is going. Ron and John are behind, but Ron is only behind by a few bits. This one could actually be close.

“Come on Ron you are only a few bits behind. You might actually win this!” Phin says.

“ARAGFFREDSRED!” Says Ron with his mouth full. Oh no it’s coming down to the last minute. And Spike has two bites on Ron. I have never seen these contests so exciting. Everyone would like to see Spike be beaten at least once. Oh no Ron has caught up but still one bite behind. 5-4-3-2-1…

“TIMES UP! Looks like Spike won by one bite!” says Phin.

“OOOOHHHHHH!!!” says the upset crowd.

“Yeah that’s right Spike is victorious again!” Says Spike in his cocky attitude.

“But you have to admit… that was a close one Spike. Ron almost had you.”

“Almost isn’t a winner… Spike’s a winner!”

I hate it when Spike refers to himself in the third person like that. Why can’t he say “me” and “I” like everyone else?